It had been over a year since I was diagnosed with PLS (Primary Lateral sclerosis), a rare neuromuscular disease. Thankfully it isn't fatal, people can live til old age with it, however it is extremely debilitating and caused me to lose the ability to talk and walk, I can only walk using a walker for short distances in the house.
It was the summer of 2008 and I was having a very rough day. Never getting out and around much was really weighing me down. When you're used to being very independent and outgoing, then suddenly your life changes so drastically it's very hard to accept, I felt like giving up. I was too absorbed in my thoughts and fears, questioning why this happened and feeling like God had abandoned me. I wondered how an all-loving God could allow so much pain and sorrow to come upon me all at once. It wasn't just my pain I was thinking about, I was feeling grief on many different levels. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't shake the depression. My husband, Larry, kept trying to encourage me, and convince me just how much God truly did still love me. I knew deep down inside how much God really does love all His children, but I wasn't feeling it. I knew that what I was going through wasn't any worse than anyone else's pain and heartache…..I just felt very unlovable in my condition. I really needed to snap out of it, but I didn't know how to.
Finally my husband Larry said, "Come on hon, we're going for a ride. It'll do you good to get out for a while and get a change of scenery." Well I wasn't in the mood for that at all, so I said, "No thanks, I'm not up to it right now." He took me by the hand and said, " I know this will do you good….come on…..just a short ride." I reluctantly went along with him.
As we were driving along, I was trying very hard to cheer up for Larry's sake, after all he was trying so hard to help brighten my mood. We were talking about life and how God allows things to happen in our lives for a reason, but through it all, He truly does love us and have our best interest at heart.
Suddenly, there it was…..a white sign with black bold letters that read, "JESUS LOVES YOU"! Larry shouted, "Did you see that sign?" I couldn't believe my eyes, what timing! I had just said, "Where's God….does He really love me? I just don't know anymore." The next thing we saw was that sign! Right then, I realized, I am loved, God really does care about us all and what we are going through…in fact I truly believe He is closer to us in our times of need than ever, giving us strength, hope and peace to keep moving through the pain and sorrow, and on to a brighter day. Best of all, He will never leave, or forsake us. I guess sometimes we all just need a little reminder that He is always very near to us.
I must say, His timing is impeccable!