I feel lost and confused...my marriage of 20 years has been tested many, many times. I know everything happens for a reason. But, right now I am hurting so much. I have hurt my family countless times, but not on purpose. I feel hopeless and I wouldnt be able to handle loosing my wonderful amazing husband. Cant imagine my world without him in it- but its not fair to him the hurt I have caused him. Lord please help me..