Dear Lord,

It's my birthday today. Thank you for all the good blessings as well as the obstacles, hurt, pain and sadness you have given me.

Lord, I don't know what you have in store in my 38th year. I wish it is a kinder year and may true happiness look for me and stay. I know with the obstacles that carried over is not a good way to start my year but I hope I'll be able to overcome it soon with your help. Lord, this is the first time that I feel this empty and sad on my birthday. This is the first time that I feel anxious more than hopeful. As my special day is about to end, I am wondering what kind of obstacles you will give me. How much hurt and pains I will get. How much sadder I will be. If it is not my time to be truly happy, at least give me ample strength to fulfill all the trials you plan for me. To make you happy.

Lord, I know that you know what I want for my life. There was no flowers from you again today. It means I am still not meant to be happy this year or maybe I am not really meant to be happy. Oh well...

Good or bad Lord, thank you.