we are on the verge of losing everything, our place to live, our car, electricity, phones, our son's college. pray for us that we do not lose each other. Please forgive me for sometimes wishing that I did not survive my heart attack last year and my shattered arm this year. I am afraid and unhappy all the time. Maybe I am just a coward who can only feel sorry for himself. I take all the blame for our predicament. I pray that our Heavenly Father can forgive me or only punish me; not my wife and son.