September 11th, 2015 was the night that changed our lives forever. Suddenly, my strong, ‘in-charge’ 44 year old husband became a patient, a victim, and me along with him. The first traumatic experience was watching him suffer with “heartburn” for a couple days prior to the actual attack. In an instant, out of the blue, I knew something was completely wrong; and I feared it was really a heart attack. In fact, it was and those fears will never, go away. He coded 4 times and looked death in the face. And I have to find a way of dealing with that – not as a heart patient, but as a heart patient’s partner. I am discovering that dealing with my own fears is going to take much longer than his physical recovery. I have been so afraid, not only because I love him dearly and don’t want to be alone, but because there would be so many problems to solve and I could not face them alone. I can only describe this feeling as “excruciating”. He is so angry and mean. Please pray that we can make it through this journey. Amen