Hello All:

Just a little background. I have struggled all my life like so many people with food. At one point in my life, I was anorexic and quite sick. tThen I went on the other side of that coin and became an overeater. Those who know me, last year at this time I had lost appx 50 lb and for the first time in a very long time felt good about my weight weighing just under 200lb. I had not been under 200lb since I was in my 20's.

Here is my written confession.

Since my accident in November, I have gained 20lbs back. I find myself in that self-loathing frame of mind again. I have given into the devil and have become a gluten again. I am struggling with starting out the day telling myself that I will be good today and eat right and that I have done this before and I can do it again (control my food). I eat modestly in the morning, pack a sensible lunch for work at work,I eat it all, telling myself I will not eat when I get home but when I get home a nibble (two pieces of toast) turns into a bowl of ice cream (and I mean a bowl) and so on and so on. By the time I am done my stomach hurts like it is about to burst I hate myself for not beeing able to control myself. I feel like I have failed so I try so hard to pray and leave it at the cross but the next day after crying my eyes out I do it all over again and it seems to be getting worse.

I so love the Lord God and this sin that I have been holding in silence is eating me alive, literally. Last week, I was stirred up to dig deeper into my relationship with the Lord and every since this process with food has worsened. My stomach seems to never have rest from the churning, gurgling, and the pain of being over full or feeling hungry. I have mentioned before to people that I have a problem with food but never confessed of gluttony before so today I am confessing to the world I am a glutton and have sinned in the eyes of my God, and Saviour.

As I start this day I am starting my first fast to purge and repent of this and all my sins. I desire to deny "self" and be filled with the Holy Spirit. I do not know how long this fast will last as I am trying to allow the Holy Spirit to guild me through the process. I will fill the time that I would normally be eating with prayer and being in and with the Word. I will pray for forgiveness, guidance, clarity, to hear God, and for His will to be done in my life. I do not tell you about this for my own edification but to give you all the information so that when you intercede for me you can do so fully informed. You will be the only ones who will have this information as my fasting it truly between God and myself.

I bear my soul and confess publicly that all shall know so I can not hide any longer. That my sin will come out of the darkness where it thrives and has control bringing it into the light where it has no control and will have no hold on me any longer as God is the light.

I am asking for prayer during this time for whatever the Holy Spirit puts on your heart as I know I can not do this alone. Your insertion on my behalf is so needed because I feel so unworthy to come to the Father with any request while this sin is controlling me.

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for who you are not what you do for me. Each of you is a gift from God to this world and I love you so much.

Thank you.
Robin Freeman