I have no love. Not that i cannot love. I have more love to give than thought possible by a younger version of me. I have no love as in no love to have. My parents love a version of me that they think i should be, which leaves only disappointment. No woman loved me like i loved them since they left for one reason or another, I, in fact, requested a prayer the last time i was here only so that i wouldn't lose the little bit of love i had, Not that it did any good. No friend loved me like they should because, well, they are self absorbed assholes.

I might sound funny now but i do feel it keenly. The sting of being unnecessary. I mean I could've lived a life for myself but that's not who I am. My need to love and be loved goes unanswered. Comes to be in my life as questionable life choices and self destructive tendencies. I don't want that. Not any more. If God is love and love is God. Please. Pray that I find my God. Because seriously. Life isn't worth living without him in it. It absolutely isn't.