I feel you on every single level and then some. I continue to mourn the breakup of my second husband even though it has been 10 years and he is remarried. I still cannot forget and move on. He was my safe place and now it is gone. I left my job of working Oncology Hematology for 29 years to file for disability. Since the loss of my husband I had lost a very special dog to me then I lost my mother and then I lost my sister at the age of just 62, my father passed in 2002 so I really felt and still feel quite alone. I have two children who are grown and although they are quite old enough to realized how important I am in there life they still have not arrived. I sometimes feel like they abuse me verbally. Since leaving work I have gained 60 to 70 pounds on top of already being grossly overweight. I weigh335 lbs on a 5'3" frame. That in itself is killing me. I am now diabetic with a sugar addiction I have a fib and have to be on medication for life for that. At the age of 64 I have just been diagnosed to be asthmatic and have to suck on and inhaler twice a day. I take so many pills in a day I could be a pharmacy. The constant pain of the stenosis in my neck and back are some days unbearable. With all the added weight my knees are beginning to take a toll on me. Honey we just have to keep in mind at all times that Jesus is the alpha and omega, he knows our every need and at just the right moment he will come through for us for the things we think we need. He does answer prayers and he continues to do modern day miracles. I do not go to church almost never but I have to say I have faith that God my saviour with help us both. Just keep praying or talking if you are not a good prayer and ask for forgiveness everyday and thank him for everything even if you don't know what you are thanking him for. Jesus is working in you or you would not have written. I will glady pray for you and can you please pray for me. Till we me again anonymous

OMGosh phyllis - we ear be twins. i was born with an immune deficiency so i have kind of been sick most of my life. then in 30s, diagnosed with hashimotos. weight gain is a symptom. at 50, diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure. i have always had asthma but with the immune deficiency, i got pneumonia ... sometimes 2 or 3 times a year and by 58 i had COPD. that's nothing compared to helping my daughter get out of a really bad marriage and then get sole custody of my precious grandchildren, both of whom had been dealing with physical and verbal abuse when they were at their father's house on his visitation time. family is everything to me, so those children were my priority until they went to college. my husband is 16 yr older than i am and we thought age wa only a number. not true! i almost lost him to encephalitis and then to heart disease. i would have been a 58 year old widow except that with the laying on of hands and prayer, he turned the corner and recovered ... only to start showing signs of dementia before i was 60. he's now got full blown dementia (as in i have to help him dress, remind hi to shower, make all decisions for him, deal with his anger and frustration and paranoia. he was the most gentlemanly man i ever knew and now her curses and accuses me of things i didn't do.

i have prayed for you. i'm not a prayer warrior like some people are, but i pray just the same, especially when the Spirit puts it on my heart to lift someone up.

God is good in all things so please don't be faint of heart. i don't go anywhere. i don't do anything, but i asked God to continue to use me and His answer was that i can still encourage people and love them and pray for them so that's what i do.

it is horrible to be lonely and alone, but we really are never alone. the Holy Spirit is within us the moment we believe, accept and surrender our will to God's.

it's okay for us to falter in our faith when we get discouraged - that's maybe why God brings brothers and sisters in Christ into our lives to prop us up when we're down so we can find our way back to the faith we once had.

this life is but a preparation for the transition to the next when God will throw out the trash (our imperfections) and we will be perfected in His name. no more hunger, thirst, suffering, pain - that wasn't a 'maybe' it was a PROMISE.