I did it again. My pride and lust showed its ugly head. I am single and lonely. I was flirting with a attractive girl at work. I know she isn't the girl for me because she isn't interested in God. Something in me needs to feel wanted and was being selfish flrting with disaster. I started acting out on fears and exerting myself for attention and got my bubble busted. Compromising who I am for a glimpse of.that gratification. She called me conceited and it cut me deep. There is definitely something wrong with me and how I was acting to get that upset. Its true.. i do want everything to be about me. I am glad it happened because that's not who I want to be. But now I am doubting myself and I feel terrible and my self esteem is low. I dont know how to do any of this stuff. To be a healthy person and be confident. To be unselfish, to be whole, to be patient and wait for god. I want i need everything now. Life was so much easier on dope. I never learned this stuff. I feel like I'll never be good enough for the things I want. I never grew up. I've always felt less than. I dont know what's wrong with me. Idk whats worse the fact that I embarrassed myself, that I am not as desirable as I want to be or just that I feel like a failure. I don't know how I am going to wait for marriage, how long thats going to be, idk how to do anything. If you can make a prayer out of that I'll be grateful. Thanks for your time. God bless you