Hello my fellow Prayer Warriors đ!
Today is day 30...We are almost there!!! I am not going to lie, yesterday was a hard/rough day for me! As many of you guys know I have been asking to help me pray for my ex and I to do God's will. It hasn't been an easy journey BUT I am learning that God is ALWAYS working for our good, even if we don't get what we "want." He is our creator and He knows better what we NEED! At first I thought that my ex and I would just take some time apart, pray about what God needed to change in our lives and bring us back together to be a good "fit." I am not so sure anymore. My ex has started talking to more than the last two girls I had mentioned before. He wants to see what is out there. I was his first gf and he wants to see how other relationships can be for him. I know it's a good thing cause the Bible says "everything works our for our good" (Rom. 8:28) âĨī¸ But it still hurts âšī¸. I know that the one that has the last word is GOD. And for now, I still feel He wants me to "Be still and know I am God" (Psalms 46:10) âĨī¸. It is so hard being still. Knowing I could be on dating apps/talking to other people to not think about my ex! Yes, I know it may not be the best decision, but it would help with the pain. Anyways, I guess God knew I would do something like that and that is why He placed in my heart to "Be Still." đđģââī¸
I am so grateful cause on Saturday, I had to do one of the hardest things in my life. I had been praying throughout the week asking God to give me a word. And for several times that I prayed, the word "forgiveness" came to my mind. I was like "okay God, I'll forgive them, it will be hard but with You I can do all things." He said "No! I want you to go and ask them for their forgiveness." This was hard because they have hurt me really deep! Anyways, fast forward to Saturday morning, I am still feeling God wants me to go. I tried to make all kinds of excuses like "what if they are sleeping" "what if they are not home," etc. And I was getting in my car, I said "God, anything, anything else except this please." Then He brought to my mind Jonah and the whale đŗ and I was like "Okay, God I'll do it by my "own" will." As I was driving I kept praying that they would not be home đĄ. They were. I spoke to her and she said she had been going through a difficult situation this past week. She even thought that was the reason why I had gone. I told her I did not know and how God had put in my heart to go. She said she had been feeling the same feeling for a few days now.
I know God has been working in my life in this journey. If everything had been "good" with my ex and I, I probably wouldn't had seen the need to ask God for a word.
So, as you guys can probably see: this is why I kind of felt discouraged when my ex only did not said he wasn't going to be able to make it to church âĒī¸ on Sunday but then at the end of the night, we ended up ending everything.
But, I know God has a plan for my life! His thoughts are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9).
As always, if God places in your heart, please pray for me and also if you want: join me in prayer every day at 10am & 10pm đ
God Bless! đ