I just found out that I need to have a hysterectomy. I’m scared. I’ve never had a surgery before. I don’t trust doctors. I don’t trust hospitals. I’m not even sure at times I trust God because I’ve had so many things happen in my life and I can’t figure out what I did to deserve them. I want to have trust, I think God is more than likely disappointed and probably angry with me. I do not want to die, I have grand-babies I would do anything to see grow up. The truth is I am scared to die. It’s been my fear since I was a child. I need God, I don’t know how to turn things over to him. I am not worthy I know that.