I am a single 45yr old recently unemployed mom of 3....two of which are still at "home" (14 and 12) and I am 100% responsible for them. We recently had to move in with a friend; I have no income; on food assistance through the State and it's embarrassing because so many people look down on those that need that type of help. I see the posts on FB lots of times talking about how "people like that" need to get to work. Well, if I had a job...I would be there! I look for work all day every day, and during the night. I am trying. My teenager is well a teenager, but me being in menopause, bipolar, Fibromyalgia and trying to cope through all of this....with Christmas a week away....it's horribly frustrating and difficult to deal with. I am doing my best to "keep it together"; but inside I am losing it. We had to move so many times due to various reasons. It's very very tough on my kids and that breaks my heart, but tonight I am especially sad and feeling a little, idk, not hopeless bc I always have hope that God will deliver me. But, I feel....empty, lonely, confused, exhausted, anxious (all the things I had just gotten answered prayers to and was coping with so wonderfully). I am trying so hard and making sacrifices that only God knows about, staying positive in front of the kids and others, putting things in order, etc....but still that light at the end of the tunnel is getting dim again. It comes and goes. I just need prayer, please...for me, my kids and everyone I come in contact with. I hate thinking that my negative energy may affect someone else. I carry lots of guilt from things that have happened to my kids, and to me. I thought I had all these negative feelings under control finally. I've gotten closer to God through all of this, so I guess I just figured that would make things easier.
Thank you and I apologize if I didn't make any sense. <3
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