Thank you!

You don't have to be the strong one!
We are stronger in our weakness!
That's what the Bible says!
God will hold you up every time!
Close your eyes and whisper to God,
"Hold my hand and never let go!"

Amen!

Don't be hard on yourself! Don't expect anything of yourself.
Take all the time you need. It may take years before you even feel alive. Don't give in to any thoughts of hurting yourself! You will back in time.
I promise!

I think you are being too hard on yourself. When my husband dies 8 years ago from cancer. I didn't see colors in the world for about 2 years. I was literally like a zombie. I got fussed at so much with people telling me I was letting things go on for so long and taking it so hard. I'm not mad at anyone, because I know they had good intentions. I started drinking quite a bit to numb my pain. BTW, that's not a good idea! Everyone grieves differently. Everyone grieves for different times. I am still sad, and I talk to Him everyday, hoping he can hear me.
I didn't climb out of the hole for 5 years. Yes it was that long before I even wanted to keep living. UP until that time I was just existing because I wouldn't die! Thankfully I didn't' go past just thinking of suicide. The Holy comforted me and reminded me that my life was not my own to take. Jesus paid for me the price of shedding His blood on the cross. Do what you need to do just get through one more minute, one hour, one day...….. etc. Don't expect anything out of yourself for as long a it takes. Sending hugs and positive prayers!

I am so very sorry!
Stay strong and focus on those in your family still here!
They are hurting too and need you!
Pray together, cry together, hug each other A LOT!