This has been the 4th death of an immediate family member whom I raised and close to them all.. The last was my stepdad who adopted me at 5.. for some reason my mom didnt like me being called his #1 daughter.. I have 2 is and 1 bro . 1 sister i am close to we just started to speak in nov of last year.. I have lupus, diabetes arthiritis and high blood pressure from hypertension.. i also broke my leg and ankle in Jan and am not healing right so in and out of hospitals and with no insurance well no need to say the rest.. I am due for surgery again nov 3 but its still all up in the air due to costs and not being able to get out of bed for 3-4 weeks.. I was really hurt at my dads wake and funeral my siblings just pushed me away and out.. I try and try to forgive but it does stay in the back of my mind.. they know what i am going thrrough mentally physically and financially and it hurts.. I read footprints everyday..I give to others and and also to them whenever i could do it.. I just feel like i was slapped in my face.. i am tired of being hurt and my children also hurting they r innocent, i cant help i had a diffrerent dad and dont know him.. can u please pray to God to continue to give me the strength to carry on.. my chilren and grandchildren r my world!!!!! Thanks so much!!
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