Know that you are not alone. I feel your pain because my husband passed away in July. There are days that I try to get out of bed, anticipating another regular day but I can only do one load of laundry and I am done for the day. I cry at home everyday - cry while driving to work, cry while at work. I let the feelings and the crying be and each day helps me feel I am unloading the pain. I put up our Christmas tree in November which my husband loved because I knew if I waited until December, I will never be able to do it. I made a DIY Christmas ball with his face in it and placed it on top of the tree. Now I cry and laugh remembering the good memories. I pray that each time you cry, it will help you unload your pain and loss; and be able to see the beautiful memories you had together. I pray that you will slowly find the strength to face the loss moving forward.