First I hve 3 beautiful, amazing grandchildren!! They hold my heart in their hands as do my children and husband. My health has steadily declined over the past yr. andd 1/2. After many tests, pokes and prodes the 3 different dr.s have concluded that I have Crohn's disease, along with a form of Arthritis that affects all my big joints. even including my jaw-bone!! The medicines they give me make me sick. It helps the main problems but has severe side effects. I take a shot that I give myself every other week,It lowers my immune system and within 3 days I have an UTI, see my primary dr. get antibiotic shot and pills to take, clear that up and by then I have a severe yeast infection. It has become a never ending round of dr. visits.Please pray that they can find something that helps I can't continue this way, Our savings have run out, our insurance is not worth having!! With a $5,400 deductible. My husband is the only one working and he doesn't make enough to cover all these tests and dr. visits. I also had a stillborn grandchild in 2011. My son and his wife are expecting again in January. She has started to have severe headaches and nausea. She was at the dr. last Fri. and she was dehdrated. I'm worried about this baby, we know she is a girl and her name will be Mica!! Please pray that God loans this grandchild to us in perfect condition for her and her mom!! I don't want to be selfish but I don't want my son and his wife to go throw the horror of losing another baby. I pray and read my bible everyday but I'm beginning to feel like ther is just more going on in my life than I can handle right now. The tears are flowing, I lost my sister-n-law 08-.22-2011 and another sister-n-law is having to raise money for a kidney transplant. Today I hear that my sisters, sister-n-law's husband committed suicide Sunday!! We are a close family, we are all from the same small town. I ask for prayers, that God gives me strength to handle so much. We are struggling with bills and barely have enough to eat. My husband makes $2.00 a month too much for us to get EBT. I feel lost and I'm trying to hang on but I feel all alone. I can't talk to anyone about my fears for the baby. I don't want to make them worry too. I'm alone all day and even when I get my Bible to read, I find my mind wondering again and Ibegin crying again. I'm struggling to keep the Faith and know that the Lord has a plan but I feel like I don't have the strength for all this now!! The only miracle I need is to hold my perfect new grandbaby. I don't think I can handle losing another even though I know the first one is God's little angel, I'm tormented wanting to hold him in my arms and see hiim smile!! My hearty is aching for my loved ones!!!
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