Please pray with me, i really wanted to have a peace of mind, I wanna let go of something that bothers me a lot, last month i audition in one of the talent search that i found on FB, i expected to much to the extent of making it as a center of my life, i flew all the way to the audition place all by myself since plane fare is quite expensive and the that money was the only thing left which was even intended for my mom's medicine since she was sick that time, she let me used it because she wanted me to reach my dreams and she knew that i can make it because this is what we've been waiting for, to help our family financially, but on the day of the audition i failed, i wanted to shout and cry out loud but i can't because i wanted that everyone will see me strong and and at the same time there's no one that i can count on since i stayed at the audition place for a week.. i wanna see my mom and hug her and say sorry, i called her on that they saying the bad news, i know that i broke her heart even if she told me that it's ok, it broke my heart more when my sister SMS me saying there's no food left for them to eat, i really wanna go home.. when i finally arrived at home i saw my mom smiling but there was sadness in her eyes.. to ease our pain i try to tell her some jokes and somehow make her laugh, when i went to school lots of paper works bombarded me, this are the works that i wasn't able to do while i'm out for a week.. i was absent with my class and our professor asked my friends but no one knows since i did not told them about my plans, right now i tried to catch up my absences, but remembering what i loose and broke my mom's heart make me feel discourage of everything which even make worst since i'm hopefully graduating this school year and being absent might affect my grades, oh God, there are times that i get envy with the girls that was chosen, i felt self pity, how i really wish it was me in there, how i wish it was me who got chosen so that i can help my family, and never broke my mom's heart, i feel sorry, i just wanted to be there but life must go on, i wanna leave all of that stuff behind but my mind and heart was stuck in there.. how i wish i never dream and expected that much, i wanna move on, i want to start, i wanted to be back like it was before, please help me, i really don't know what to do.. T.T
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