If God is closing doors then they are not your doors. He has other plans for you. Let go of your plans and ask him what he is leading you to.

May I suggest putting in the work to learn a new skill and earn your own money. Then you might find you no longer desire to murder the woman who gave you life and rather than spending the rest of your life in prison over money you may find purpose, make your own money, and contribute to bettering society. If your mom is horrible then even more reason to become self sufficient. Blessings