My heart breaks for you. It was only 15 months ago I found myself in the similar shoes. At 59 years old I fell for a Romance Scam and I made horribly bad choices losing everything I owned. I was evicted with 3 dogs and 1 cat. I too had my dogs since pups and they were around 9, & 10 years old. I had to file for bankruptcy and the stress was crippling, overwhelming, and nearly cost me my job too. I couldn’t bear to abandon my animals in a shelter. I too was told to get rid of them. I did. I held each one and lost pieces of my soul as I had them put down at the Vets office. I still cry often and miss them more than anyone will ever understand. I wish it was only a one time event that I made bad choices but sadly, that’s been pretty much my whole life. But have faith. God did intervene and help me. I started with Al-Anon meetings. Who’d have thought these silly meetings would be if any use? They were better than any of the thousands I spent in therapy. What I loved about them was they were all hurting dysfunctional people like me just trying to help each other heal. My life is truly better now. I’ll probably never stop grieving the loss of my fur babies or stop hating myself for what I did, but... God truly did help me. I WILL pray for you. I will keep you close to my heart because I understand your pain. I’m sorry you are going through this. Keep praying. Keep talking to God and keep looking for the blessings He is sending you. 💙