Marise,
I am going though the same thing. You must #1 accept God’s will in this, in that he may not return. If he doesn’t then, God has someone else in store for you that’s better. I am still waiting on the Lord but, he has taken the edge off my tremendous hurt and suffering. I have even had to pray myself out of some very dark places.
I will pray for you Marise and you pray for me. Lots of tears have been shed and God does recognize them all. It is a hurt like no other. I pray that the Lord will heal you and show you an answer to your prayer. I pray blessings upon you for that healing. Al