I began to feel this way also. Then I have to remember I have purpose and that's why I'm still here. YOU HAVE GOD PURPOSE IN YOU THEREFORE YOU CAN NOT GIVE IN TO WHAT YOUR FLESH AND satan TELLS YOU. GOD IS ON YOUR SIDE. Your children need you more and more as they get older. My mother died when I was 13. I miss her a lot but I know my time to see her again is not up to me but up to GOD and every morning I wake up I know I'm to be here and GOD will supply everything I need for that day and the next and the next and the next and the next. You're here for a reason. Your time is not now. My prayer is that GOD strengthen you during this time. There are times we have to reevaluate people In our lives that don't add anything. Right now I would advise you surround yourself with people who know how to pray for you. My prayer is that GOD will give you peace in the mist of what you're going through and HE will refresh you and add GODLY people to your life. Hold on change will come so look for it and believe it.