We're all created for a purpose- it's just trying to figure out what that purpose is, which we struggle with.
As a child I was born into a family that practiced divination, so it fell on me as normal as breathing. At 5 years old I was seeing dark things in my home that were not of this world. I was frightened and confused, but still assumed that was the way it was for everyone. At 8 years old I was actively practicing the occult- Tarot cards, calling out spirits, attempting spells...all the while we attended church on Sundays in our best attire. We shined on the outside, but inside we were lost in the darkness. No one knew the things that went on in our walls of our home, or the walls of our minds. Despite the beautiful home and fancy cars, we were poor. We were poor in truth and in spirit, because we all were living a lie. Alcohol, adultery, gambling (among other things) were the heartbeat of our home. Witchcraft was an outlet for me- I felt like I was escaping the lies, but in reality was locking myself up deeper in them. By age 15 I was doing "psychic" readings and holding séances for money, then afterword would drown my sadness in alcohol, followed by self-harm. I learned the art of lying to cover my faults, fears and weaknesses. I was becoming the one I served- dark, conniving, hurtful and dangerous. At 21 I was a single mom, involved with gangs and crime. I sought out every dangerous avenue to distract me from what troubled me, because I never really knew what troubled me. I just knew I hurt. Every time I thought I was getting my life together, I'd mess it up and hit bottom. The downward spiral was a pattern I didn't know how to stop. I hated myself but put on a good show. I was diagnosed with bi-polar and thought that was the answer- the reason to all my bad choices and bad things that happened to me. I never once looked in the mirror for the reason...however, the night I did, I had just taken 3 bottles of pills and lots of alcohol... and waited for my eyes to close for the last time. I regretted that decision the moment after I did it, but thought it too late. It wasn't. God was with me. He always was- I just never knew. I never knew Him. I knew OF Him (from Sunday school as a child) but I didn't have truth, or a relationship with Christ. Jesus granted me the grace and mercy I needed when I woke up the next morning (with the worst stomach ache and headache ever). By all accounts I should have died that night- but I didn't. I was not only given a second chance, but shown that the darkness I always turned to for comfort, was really my jailer, not my freedom. What changed? I prayed the night I looked it the mirror, watching myself die; only, it was not my life ending, but the ending of the wretched soul I'd become. I had a son to live for and needed to find a way to make my life work; make it right. God called me many times and I ignored Him- but He didn't ignore me that night I prayed with desperation, regret, shame, sincerity. I never wanted to die- I just wanted the pain to end. His goodness saw something in me worth saving- when I never saw it myself. He led me to a man who became my husband, and he helped me find a place of truth, of light, of love... the place the Lord wanted me all along. I turned from my wicked ways, yet I still suffered from physical ailments doctors said could only be maintained, not cured. God showed me different. I was baptized and repented of all I had done, and I dedicated my life to the Lord. I never needed another brace, pill, or tool of satan again. I came out of the water and I was healed! I was changed. The darkness was conquered by the light, because I turned to it. It is NEVER too late to seek help, even when you don't know what is wrong. God knows. He is always there- we just have to be willing to turn to Him and give up what ails us. Often our issues aren't the problem- our issues are the results of something in our life we need to get rid of. I now have 4 wonderful children with that incredible man I grew in the Lord with, and we counsel and assist people who are spiritually afflicted by means of occult use. I always wondered what I was created to be and do- I just had to push through the darkness to get to the light. And that is any one of us. I have learned- where there is breath, there is always life. Where there is Jesus, there is always hope. Even in the darkness you can still find the light. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20); "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)