I am lifting you up in pray..fear is of the devil..he wants to bring you down so you can't pray..I have lived like this before..but..you have to bind satan..do you have a personal relationship with Jesus? Have you asked him into your heart and meant it? Greater is He (Jesus) who is in you than he (satan) that is in the World! If you don't gave a church..please find one and be a friend..the more friends you have that love and follow Jesus the more you will come out of this pain..God is ready and can and will help you..but..you have to ask..❤ love in Christ and prayers..Sharyn