My prayers are with you. I have dealt with panic attacks and anxiety my whole life until I went to a psychiatrist about 8 years ago. I still have a little shaking hands but the medication has worked wonders on me. Look up a good psychiatrist on healthgrades they are rated by their patients. Could you possibly have IBS. Irritable bowel syndrome. I still have it and I'm taking medication for it. A good gastroenterologist will be able to help you with that. If you do have it. I'm not a doctor but these are the suggestions that I took. Try writing a gratitude list kind of gets you out of your head. And you are a child of God. Put the bat away and stop beating yourself up. You can't live in the past or the future, you have to live one day at a time. Try journaling about what's going on in your head. This gets it out of your head and onto the paper so you can look at it, instead of judging yourself. Remember God forgives us if we've done anything wrong. Christ was nailed on the cross for our sins. God bless you!!