I am engaged to a man that I dearly love with all my heart however there are times when i feel as though he is not being completely honest with me an i dont know why i feel this
way its a gut feeling an i have always found out later that my gut feeling was right i do have trust issues an issues due to my childhood an im always praying for the ability to trust this man because if i keep feeling this way i will have no choice but to leave him an move on with my life but i love him with everything i have in me an dont want to loose him but i feel like im driving myself crazy feeling this way i worry so much that my chest hurts daily i have headaches at night before i go to sleep an sometimes i cant even go to sleep it takes me at least two hours of just laying there with things going through my mind until i just make myself go to sleep i feel like im on the verge of having a heart attack because i overthink everything mostly that he is not being honest or loyal to me an i try so hard to trust him he works out of town alot an sometimes he is in town an home everyday i am fine on those days an during that time but the minute he leaves town for even a few days to a week or two weeks the feelings come back an i start having the same thoughts all over again i know that he drinks with his coworkers an i have seen some of the coworkers cheat on their wife or girlfriend because i have went on some of the trips where i just showed up where ever the hotel was in whatever town an this is what i saw not from him but the coworker an i feel that if he will condone it from them he will do it himself i need alot of prayer at this point because i am really to the point of waiting until he leaves to go out of town an packing my stuff an moving an not saying nothing to him just disappear an if i do this i dont think i will ever have another relationship again my last real relationship lasted 22 years he past away. i dont know what to do at this point an i know relationships are suppose to be built on trust an i think i did trust him at one time but after seeing what goes on when he is away i lost the trust in him an i dont know how to get it back or if i ever will get it back im so confused at this point an its now a should i stay or move on situation i live in on a daily basis. please help me i need prayers in a big way. sorry my words was so long an thank you
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