I am suffering from an abusive marriage, I have for 50 years now. Sometimes it was mental and sometimes getting beat up. He blames it all on me. We raised 3 boys and now raising 2 grandkids. I hated when our kids had to listen to us argue and fight and now my grandkids have to go through it. He needs some help but says I do. I pray every night things will get better,but it hasn't I am at a loss,have no where to go,he keeps telling me hes sorry,but its getting old. He doesn't understand how much he hurts me and the kids. My grown kids wont even come here anymore because of his hateful ways. I have lost so much love for him. Last night he told me I should die,my grandson heard it and cried when we went to bed. I just don't know what to to,we cant financially split up. I have no job and am 68 years old with not much SS coming in.