Today, my message read:

"When you love conditionally, you have to keep deciding if the other is worthy of your love. You can never let go of your guard enough to be content. Why not decide once and for all, and love once and for all. And be content."

The thing is, I'm incredibly afraid of letting my guard down now. I used to not have a problem, but now I fear the pain I've experienced before. I'm in a relationship with the same woman who'd dealt that pain and I do want to love her unconditionally... But the pain was so great and the fear seems even greater. Please pray for me that I would be able to do what He wills in this relationship. Thank you.

I am still deeply in love with my ex fiancée, with whom I have a son. People tell me that women get hormonal after giving birth and a part of me is hoping that's all this drama is. The rest of me is more pessimistic.

In any case, please pray that, if it would not go against His Will, my family would be reunited and we may live as a loving unit. I haven't seen my son for weeks now and my heart constantly aches for the one woman I love.