Dear God.... I really need you now. Times are getting tough for me. I need your help. My Lupus is rearing it's ugly head but my Rheumatlogist doesn't see it. Sometimes I feel like he will never see it. sometimes I feel like everything i say is invisible to this man.

Today something both terrified and insulted me. I told him about my fatigue. He didn't do anything about it, other than send me to my psychiatrist to talk about meds. I was so insulted that he didn't care about me enough to want to help me. This fatigue is really hurting me.

Then the memory and confusion was worse. He told me to go to the ER if it continued or got worse. I wanted to cry. I knew confusion and weakness were not good signs. But they could be nothing. I am praying that they are nothing. I am under so much turmoil at this point in time.

Please don't put more on me than I can bear. Please help my rheumatologist help me. And please...let my story be told.

In your name...amen.