I recently had a baby on September 15th. I had been struggling with my Faith and what God's plan is for me since June of this year. I thought that once I had the baby I would be ecstatic but instead I am more of a mess. Now, other than what I was already dealing with I am also constantly questioning if I went to the hospital when I should have, if I would have had her the day before had I gone to the hospital since I was already feeling bad (the 14th was a special day for me and I wanted to have her on that date), why God has abandoned me, etc.
I have been praying like crazy all day every day asking God to show me the reasons for all this sadness and doubt, but it seems that either I doing something wrong or he has stopped listening to me.

Please pray that I regain my Faith and that I see clearly what God is trying to show me. Please as I know that there is power in numbers and I really want to get back to being the mother, wife and daughter I should be rather than shutting everyone out. Please know that your prayers will be greatly appreciated.