OH LORD... I need your guidance. I have heard You in the past. You, Jesus or the Holy Spirit have always come to help guide me... let me know where I am going or what I should do. Although right now I understand that I am at a place where movement isn't ideal. But I really REALLY need you to tell me... I have been such a jerk and angry lately. I don't know how to let go of that. I thought I let go of it... but then it rears it's ugly head again. I feel like I'm tired of being the "good person". Then again I haven't been a really good person... I'm confused, lost and angry... Can you please just help me understand? Get past this so I can move on? I know you have a purpose for all that you do... Did you bring me this far to fail? To bring all that I wanted into being just to take it away? I'm so MAD!!! I know I am not perfect... and I don't mean to make it sound like I am... but this... THIS SITUATION right here... is not helping me... So just TELL ME what to do... I will hear You and do what you say... I'm past the whole I know better than You do thing... Ok... I might negotiate... but it's only because I don't want to be a quitter... but then, sometimes I am ready to quit... I don't mind if you yell at me... but I'm seriously feeling like I'm going to have a melt down and then it will all be for nothing because the people involved will say its only my "imagination"... Which... could be... You know me better than anyone. Just please... tell me I'm being crazy & neurotic. That this is all in my head because I'm on the wrong meds or not taking the right ones??? Please... Please???