Feeling so on the edge. I keep messing up and my life is spiraling out of control. I have nobody to blame but myself for I just want to have the simple things but i end up going after the wrong thing. Seems so much is out of reach. The men in my life, well, it just seems I am a big joke. Can't seem to do anything right, whether it's family or love life (not that there's been one for years). I am hanging on by a thread that seems to be getting thinner. Confusion and fighting inside seems to overwhelm me. So much hides underneath from what others see. Lord, at times the enemy says to end it but I refuse that!!! Why bother having a heart at times? I dont know what else to say or anything. I have shriveled up. Trying to look back on God's miracles for me and my son.