It is early in the morning and once again I am awake unable to sleep and sad and crying for all the pain I am feeling and can not make better. I love God our Father above all else and I need to to help me. I don't even know what help I truly need except to have this pain in my heart, mind and body to go away. There is so much that I can not even untangle it all. I know others have it much much worse than I do and I pray they too find God's help! Why can this world be loving and carrying? Why can people truly care and help one another? So many why's. I sit here and look at my son's ashes and think most of all why did he have to hurt so bad that he could no longer stay here and it hurts even more! I wanted so much to help him and if I had the money like some than I could have given it to him and helped him so much. I can not even take care of myself but I would have taken care of him first and did and yet it was not enough. Maybe this infection in my mouth is making me feel worse. I only have 4 partial teeth left up top and none down on the bottom and still do not have the money to fix them. Thank You for allowing me to talk and I pray God will help me with these problems and give me the answers I seek for whatever they may be. May God bless us all and keep us in His loving arms always and forever, Amen.
g