I am on the verge of ending my life... I am at the place where I find myself thinking of ways to end my life and that I just cant take it anymore. I am 48 years old and have lost everything. I lost my mortgage business due to the housing market and economy and shortly after my wife filled for divorce. I would be homeless today but a good friend lets me stay at his place. I have people in my life that love me and I am very thankful for this. God has blessed me with so many great qualities and abilities and also loves me and I am also very thankful of this as well. Its just that I feel I'm so far gone so far under water I can no longer see the light. I just don't see how I can ever get back to a normal life again. I truly hate who and where I am today. The health and dental issues weighs me down, the depression and lack of self worth too. I have no health or dental insurance and I cant smile because of how depressed I am and how embarrassed I am for now teeth missing. I was once such a vibrant and loving man that was so full of life and self esteem to a man that no longer believes in himself. The mountain is so high I don't feel I can climb it anymore. The fight for life has left my body and mind. I owe everyone money and so embarrassed of this and how I don't know how ill ever pay them back. I pray to god for strength and motivation. I always pray for others because I know so many have it harder than me. I pray to god if I could just find a job that allows me to have my own place, pay all the others back I owe and help my daughters financially, get the health and dental attn. needed I would be for ever grateful. But still I cant find the motivation to look hard enough or in the right places. I think me finding a job could change everything, I have so much to offer I know many places would love to have me working for them. Fighting thru depression is the hardest thing I have ever done, I want life so badly but just cant find it. The only reason I haven't ended my life already is because I am afraid that if I kill myself god wont let me into heaven. Please pray for me to beat the depression and find a good job. Thank you and god bless you.