I have reached a point in my life where I am in desperate need to remove myself from toxic living conditions. For most of my life I have lived in an emotionally and mentally abusive household. I have a little money saved up, just enough to put down a security deposite, and the first and last month's rent down on an apartment that is literally 15 minutes away from a new job I'm supposed to be starting. I want to believe that God is giving me signs that this is the right thing to do, right now -- in addition to it being so close to my new job, it is also in the same subdivision area as my grandma once lived in when she was young, two blocks away from her brother and sister's houses (both my grandma and the two siblings have since passed away), and only five or ten minutes away from my own aunt's house. There are several things holding me back on trying for this move, the main one being: I don't actually know WHEN I'll be starting my new job. They haven't assigned any start dates and told me just yesterday it could take "a few weeks" to set things up. I'm terrified. I'm terrified I'll lose this apartment, but I'm also terrified that if I get it, I won't have enough money to get me by until I finally start working for them. The job I have now doesn't pay nearly enough. Please, God, you know I need to be smacked right upside the head when it comes to signs. Please, please, show me if this is what is best for me right now.