Dear Lord, I am devastated. I don't blame you one bit, I blame my incompetence. I'm trying to accept that you want me to draw closer to you, and this incident is a way you helped me grow spiritually. But God, I have failed to understand your plan and the beauty of it. I know it's the limited mind of mine, but it pains me. I don't understand anything, your plan, your love, your beauty, your kindness, I failed to see any of it. God, what can I do? Help me