God, I am so lost right now. I have lived a life of poverty homeless with kids again. I have no family being abandon from birth and adopted. Had mixed children. I have struggled all of my adult life and almost 50 still struggling and raising grandsons. Everything I earn from job goes to hotel rent. Nothing left for clothes, shoe's food, ect. I drink pop to feel full so kids eat. Car engine blew up so walk and bus when I can. My feet and ankles swell constantly. Two out of three kids don't speak to me. No family does. Just left alone. Troubles from the mean girls click at work and with situation can't say anything. I pray and pray but never vindicated. Will it ever get better? Would love to just be able to live several years without the struggle