We have all squandered blessings the Lord has given us and regret many things we've done. You are not alone--we are ALL sinners. None of us deserves His love and blessings. The wonderful thing is that God DOES love us despite our sins and He forgives us when we turn to Him as you have. Jesus died exactly for this reason. HE took our sins to the cross and paid the penalty for us. Just thank HIm. Don't hang onto the guilt. Do something good with it, whether it's volunteering at a local agency or helping a neighbor in need.