things are just getting worse. i know i need to be patient and that things have to get worse before it gets better but its just so hard to keep faith when you just want everything to be ok. i need to be strong but its hard when you dont see an end in site. i dont want to give up but i cant live my life anymore. i really dont know what to do i need a miracle. i know the lord is here with me but i just need to believe more. my impatience almost got everyone i cared about killed.