About a month ago, something happened in my family that has made me have hypochondriac tendencies since then. Now I have a bad cold or some sort of similar illness for the first time since then. It's probably nothing serious. But I keep getting unreasonably worried about it. For the past few nights I have had a hard time sleeping because I'm afraid I won't wake up, or if I stop focusing on breathing I'll just stop breathing. I just started taking antibiotics, which I've never taken before, so now I have an extra unreasonable worry that I might be allergic to them. I know this probably sounds ridiculous. It even seems ridiculous to me sometimes. I'm just scared, more scared than I know I should be, and I need the Lord to comfort me. It would help to know someone is praying for me. It helps just to be writing this. I haven't shared my hypochondria feelings to anyone except my closest family, and now that I'm away from my family I feel alone. I'm sorry about ranting so long about something that's not such a big deal as finding a job, or keeping a family together, or healing from some actual major illness like the prayers that usually go on here. I'm just afraid, and I need to get this out there to somebody so I'm not facing this alone. I have to admit I'm afraid of death. Not because of where I will spend eternity, but because I feel that I haven't been as good of a servant as Christ as I could be. I need to spend less time thinking about myself and more time thinking about or at the very least spending time with others. I want to have more time to change, and I know that it's a hard and slow process for me. Lord, thank you for sustaining me every second that I live, and for reminding me that I always need you. Thank you for my incredibly blessed life so far. Lord, I know I asked you a few weeks ago to challenge me, to do what you need to make me a better follower of you. Is this hypochondria thing the answer? If so, it stinks...but I guess all forms of effective refining and molding are supposed to stink at the time. Already I feel more comforted after talking to you and to the very kind (and by now, very patient) members of this app. Lord, I just pray that you will keep sustaining me help me remember this desire I feel right now to learn and grow as much as I can as a servant of Christ.
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