Unless you have more of Jesus, none of the things you ask for will matter. I have been where you are, and nothing guarantees my future. My only constant is my faith and love for Christ and knowing that in the end, none of the trappings of this world matter. I will be praying for you because I know how difficult what you are going through can be. Read Isaiah 55 for comfort and assurance.
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Ephesians 2:14-22 New King James Version (NKJV)
Christ Our Peace
14 For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, 15 having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, 16 and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. 17 And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. 18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.
Praying for you, dear one.