Hello. Please listen to Joyce Meyer. You can listen for free on YouTube. You can order her CD's/books. It's just pay what you can. So if you can pay $1.00 to listen to her teachings they will send you the CD's. She was abused as a child, and overcame this. As far as people borrowing money, is it for the Glory of God? If not, then say no. In saying no, you are saying yes to your kids. Raising a family is for the glory of God. God loves you. Don't listen to negative thoughts that tell you you don't deserve anything. You deserve to have joy in your life. When my son was little, I put anything that was special that he could break away. Maybe try putting things you don't want broken away. You say your babies are your pride and joy so I know you have love in your heart. You can do this. God loves you and your kids...