I do not understand why my life never moves past step 1? Why the best that I can ever have is a roof over my head, clean clothes, and food to eat. And then barely that. I never have anything to look forward to. I never have any fun. Most of the time I am stuck in my home like a caged up animal. It is all that I can do to have gas money. I always feel like I am in limbo waiting for the next step forward and an open door. But all I ever do is go round and round in circles. I am always one step away from homelessness. Why is there no meaning to my life? Why is there no purpose? why do I just exist and wake up breathing? I want to feel like I have a life. I want to feel like I am more than a burden to myself. I want to feel like more than a slave to poverty. I want to feel alive instead of just awake and breathing. I want to feel like I am serving a purpose instead of just existing. I want to feel connected to God instead of overlooked. I want to feel acknowledged instead of ignored and neglected. Why do I feel so rejected by God? Why do I feel so often that I try so hard to do my part and God doesnt do anything to contribute to my life? Why do I feel like God doesnt care and does not even like me let alone love me? Why do I never have anything more than the basics? Why is my life nothing more than merely survival?