I'm 50 years old and suffer from major depression and anxiety. I know in my heart that I am a child of god, and I know he is with me and at times carrying me. I also know that he sees me through Christ my saviour and that he has forgiven me for my sins. and he knows who I really am. The problem, I still have so much self doubt, lack self confidence, a feeling of failing and that I have let my wife and kids down in everything. I know that is not true, I know throughout the years that we have had a pretty good life, my kids have grown up and are fine kids. I know this was not my doing but that of God's, I can reflect back through time and see where god was such a big part of my life and how only through him was everything achieved. I long for that feeling of security again, but now I don't see myself worthy of his help, and I can feel the presence of god but my own feelings of failure, worthlessness, etc. keeps me from letting him in. I have to let him in, I need him. It is so hard to put into words the feelings I have, but I see no positives in anything, I only see where I have made things worse for people. I know that none of it is true, and I know that god walks with me. I'm not even sure of what I need but I know I need this to turn around.