My husband of 17 years up and left without anything nice to say for about the 5th or 6th time since November of this past year (he stayed gone the whole month then). He has since supposedly left for good in June, moved one of our (female) family friends in with him in July, signed divorce papers at the end of August but has not paid for divorce yet despite him rushing me to sign as quickly as possible even though the papers can't be filed yet. I messed up 7 years ago and cheated on him. I moved out for about 3-6 months and got my own place away from our family home because I had done wrong. He tells me for the past 7 years that he hasn't loved me, cared for me, or any feelings left for me whatsoever, but what I don't understand is why he stayed with me that long knowing that he didn't love me anymore. I have asked him what I have done so bad because that happened so long ago and I have apologized and showed him love to try to make up for it so much. He didn't stay by himself when I left. He dated and took strange women out on dates and paid attention to them. That was what I begged him for before I messed up was to give me some attention. I have not left the house since he left in June. I have not spoken, kissed, been intimate or anything hoping that he might come to his senses. He just turned 40 and I honestly think he is going through a mid-life crisis. The person that he is with is 30 and has already been married and divorced three times. Her daddy is a preacher and I even called and cried to him about how our marriage was in shambles and all I wanted was for my husband, son, daughter, and I to be together happy. We have been together since I was 19 and I am so completely lost without him and now my 16 yr. old son here. It is my daughter and I on our own and my aunt moved in with us to help us out financially. Since we have been together though, he has drank alcohol every day except for the one year his dad asked him to quit before he himself passed away of cancer. He was also a great dad and husband for that period of time and for about a year or year and a half after his dad passed away. I couldn't ask for a better man. Also since we have been together, he has always had friends over just about every single evening staying until late into the night drinking and partying. That is just the short version of our lives together and apart. I have always taken responsibilities for my faults in our marriage but when I explained to him that we weren't divorced yet and he was just as guilty of adultery as I was, he hangs up the phone, leaves if we are in person, or ignores my texts. All I am asking is if we can't fix our family, will you please pray that the both of them will apologize to our children. They are both teenagers and have been through a lot also. I tell them both everyday how sorry I am that this happened and I love them both with all of my heart. What else can I do? How will I ever understand this? I would understand if he wouldn't have let me back for 7 years but he never acted like anything was wrong until late last year.
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