I am sorry for the loss of your son. I pray that you never give up and u receive the strength and guidence from the lord that u need.
I have not been in your shoes but i did loose my son. I was not myself for a good 2 years! I went everyday to his grave. It was part of my healing process. Dont ever let anyone tell u how to grieve or have a time line. I miss my son everyday and its been 4 years.

My heart hurts for you but i know that if you keep your faith and god in your life he will carry you thru this.