God I'm asking for help. Life is hard and its definitely real. I don't know where to start. Im seeing certain signs and I feel like im in serious trouble with you. Sometimes I wonder how it feels just not to exist. I fall into temptation easily. I guess I come to the conclusion that im just stubborn and hard headed. Sometimes I think about my judgment day and sometimes I don't know if im going to make it to Heaven. Ive grew up as a Christian but I've always strayed away since my early days. To some this prayer doesn't seem as serious but eternity should matter to everyone. I've always straddled the fence and It should be time to get serious especially whats going on in the world nowadays. Jesus if you are not hearing from me I cant blame you because if I was seeing myself everyday I would be mad at me too. Jesus im asking for repentance of sins and please help me to get better. Im scared and scared of my future. Sometimes I think if I didn't exist there would be one less problem you wouldn't have to deal with. Theres a lot of unspoken prayers that im praying for but you know about it. I'm not living right. If you are angry I'll be humble enough to say that it is my fault. Ive been knowing the truth coming five years and I still didn't do anything. I'm not proud of myself and should be ashamd of myself. Im praying for peace in my life and help me to have a better relationship with you.