Please try to reach out to professional counselors or a Dr.. maybe they can get you to try an antidepressant... Praying that you get relief from things that are making you feel this way.. Do you have a church or know other christians ? seek all areas of help you can including prayer... Hang in there... many people have felt like this including myself in the past... You are loved by people in the world and many others look up to you and need you..