Yes there is a God and He has not forsaken you. I also have lost both my mom and dad. My mom died when I was 15. I was restored to faith in my early 30's, although I continued to seek him it out for all those years. My father forbade me form joining a church, strangely enough. Once I regained my faith, I stopped worrying about he future so much and realized that Jesus was my mom and dad rolled up into one. Please also seek some medical help--I have been through all the things you have described and come out on the other end. A Bible study and prayer group are also excellent medicine~soothing to the soul. You need lots of prayer support right now.

Hi Katie-I also suffered in the past from anxiety, depression and Agoraphobia. My experience is that the Lord also works through good doctors and psychiatrists. God has not left you, it just feels like it...it is an illusion. In depression, it feels like a dark heavy curtain came down between me and the Lord. Once I got treated for my condition and continued to pray and ask for help, I found myself back in His arms. Do not give up! I am praying for your relief from depression and anxiety and hope you find the help you need. He wants you to find some peace in Him and it is always available to you through prayer. I also use a journal as a tool. God bless you! Please seek out some really good doctors as well. Try to get some referrals.