Those that usually talk badly about others is usually because they are in pain, and they do not feel good about themselves. I find praying for them to find peace and self-worth helps.
Al Anon is a great tool to help you cope with alcoholism in the family. I went through the program years ago when I was married to a recovering alcoholic. It brought me back to my higher power which is God. The program gave me tools to help myself such as prayer and know that there are just some things I am powerless over. It also reminded me that I am not alone.
Someone once told me, for those that hurt you or you are angry about, close your eyes, envision yourself taking that person out of your hand and placing them in God’s hands. It really helped me learn when to let go and let God. Serenity prayer is a great tool as well. Memorizing it and putting it into practice helps.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”
Keeping you and your family in my prayers.