Dear God,
Lately I have been doubting you too much. I thought that maybe after a little more time I would come back to my senses and know what you are real and there all the time. But, it has been too long since I felt close to you. People tell me it is okay to doubt you but I don't know when I will stop doubting you. I am afraid that I will forget you in time. Its wrong that i need proof from you to know you are real. I know its wrong. But i just cant find myself praying and asking for you. I feel empty and alone. It hurts every time i think of you. I hate myself for thinking this way. Whenever i go to church i feel like a hypocrite. When people ask me for help and i tell them to pray to you i feel like a hypocrite. I just cant live like this. I dont know what to do. I need guidance. I need your help. This world is getting worse and is sucking me to become worldly. I need you in my life. I lost hope in many things. I probably seem all emotional and pathetic but this is real for me. It hurts me. I cry most nights because i hate myself for being this way. I want to fix myself. but its hard. I cant do it alone. I cant tell anyone because in my friends im the one that helps people. I am the one people rant their problems to. and im afraid to disappoint my parents. Please God. Help me.
In Jesus name i pray,
Amen